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'Our Last Night' This page is dedicated to 'Our Last Night' with our Precious Little Angel 'Samuel~Jack'...
Samuel~Jack was born at home on 'Tuesday 26th February 2002'... Samuel stayed with us at home that same day and night, but the following evening, on the Wednesday, we thought it best to take Samuel to rest at the Chapel~of~rest on the little Island of Mersea, where our Precious Little angel Jack had rested too... We would go and visit our Samuel every day, and take him gifts and hold him in our arms for as long as we wanted... It was so hard to be apart from him, but we knew it was the best thing for Samuel... Samuels Funeral Day was on the following Monday... We were bringing him home to us again on the Sunday evening... We couldn't wait!
Sunday came and it was time to bring our sweet angel home... We arrived at the Chapel~of~rest at 6.00pm, I ran into Sam, picked him up and couldn't believe that we were all going home... 'We had just one thing to do first'! We stopped off at our Angel Jack's Special place on 'Mersea Island', where we had once held our Jack in our arms and watched the boats sail by... We sat and just 'remembered'... This was the same place that on my Birthday, June 28th last year, I told Andrew that I was 'expecting our Samuel'... We then took one more short drive to the same spot where we had Angel Jack's '1st Memorial Birthday & Balloon Release' in the November 2001... We held our 'angel Sam' in our arms and walked to where we had Jack's balloons released... It was very emotional being there, but just 'something' that we knew in our hearts, 'we had to do'...
6.30pm Jack's Place on Mersea Island Andrew holding 'Sam' at 'Jack's Special Place'... A photograph that will hold memories in our hearts ~ forever!
We arrived home with our angel Sam about 7.00pm... Sophie, Ben and Andrews mum were awaiting us... We carried our Samuel indoors and laid him in his Moses Basket upstairs in our bedroom... Our children were so happy to see Sam 'come home'... (Please click on the 'Thumbnail' to view a larger photo)
Photo of Sophie & Ben with Sam on our 'Last Night' before Sam's Funeral Day
Later on that evening our Midwife Julie came over, as we had asked her to remove our Samuel's 'cord clamp'... So tenderly and carefully she took Sam's clamp off and we have it 'treasured' in a little trinket box... (Please click on the 'Thumbnail' to view a larger photo)
Photo of our Midwife Julie removing Samuel's 'cord clamp'
Our Vicar, Chris Newlands came over this night too... We had to finalise the arrangements for Samuels's Funeral the following morning and decide on the 'Hymns' that we were to have... We then spent some time upstairs with our Samuel, where Chris gave some Prayers, and his words bought much comfort to us all...
Andrews brother 'Dean' & 'Sister~in~Law Mandy' also came over this night to 'meet' their new angel Nephew... With them they bought lots of gifts from their children and some very special little 'letters' written especially for our Samuel...
When Mandy & Dean, our Midwife Julie and our Vicar Chris had left, we just spent as much time as we could with our Samuel... Sophie spent some time cuddling Sam before she went to bed, and Ben gave Sam his last little kiss goodnight before he went to sleep... Andrews mum spent some special time with Samuel upstairs on her own, knowing that it was going to be the very last time that she was to be able to hold or cuddle her beautiful little baby grandson...
For the rest of the evening, Andrew and I sat and talked of what was going to be happening the following morning, and we just could not believe that this was 'our last night' with our beautiful new, baby son... We spent as much time with our Samuel as we could... Talking to him, loving him and trying to tell him everything we needed to in a few mere hours... There is not enough time in a 'lifetime' to tell your children how much you love them... 'we only had that one night left'...
We sat, we cried, we held our sweet angel in our arms and once again, knew it was soon going to be time to have to say 'goodbye'... I remember laying upstairs next to Samuel, with our Angel Jack's 'empty Moses Basket' near by and a photograph of our Jack beside Sam and thinking how wrong it is that our babies should be taken away from us... Jack and Samuel's little Moses Baskets should be filled with the giggles and cries of our little babies... Instead, they fell silent... ...but the silence to our ears was deafening!
I knew that in the morning, after our Samuel's Funeral Service, I would be carrying an empty Moses Basket home... That thought was 'choking me'... I told Sam over and over again how much we all loved him and how much he is missed by everyone who knew him, but the only comfort I could find, on this cold, heartbreaking, traumatic evening, was that he was now safe with his 'angel brother Jack in Heaven', and that to us, was a blessing! Andrew and I finally managed to fall asleep in the early hours of that morning, knowing that when we awoke, it was going to be time to say 'goodbye'...
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Samuel's Funeral Day
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