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'Our Samuel's Last Journey'
Andrew and I arrived at the Chapel~of~rest, shortly after the Church Service had ended, and this was where Samuel's 'casket' was awaiting... We carried Samuel in and to the little room where it was ready for us... Andrew and I both found this the hardest part of the morning... We could not understand why the 'final part' of the funeral could not go ahead with our Sam still in his Moses Basket, but the rules and regulations of the Crematorium say that it is not allowed!... We just didn't want to have to do this... When you 'lose' someone, there are few choices you have, and although this was against our wishes, it was the only way that we could bring our Samuel back home, to have his 'ashes' resting with his big brother Jack's... We knew we HAD to do this...
We just didn't want this to be goodbye... How could I lay my baby down, into a 'casket', knowing it would be the very last time on this earth that I would ever hold him in my arms!!!! During this time, we asked for our Vicar Chris to come, and asked him to say a 'Prayer' for Samuel before I laid him down... Chris said some wonderful words and I knew then it was time to say, 'goodbye'... Andrew and I both hugged Samuel~Jack, and with our hearts breaking, I laid him in his 'casket', made sure he was comfortable and gave him all of his little pictures from Sophie & Ben, photographs of the family and his little soft Teddies that were all going to Heaven with him... I wrapped his shawl around him and Andrew and I gave one more last kiss to him each, told him how much we all loved him, gave him a photo in his little hand of his special angel brother Jack and knew then at this time, it was 'goodbye'... We laid his 'red rose' in with him, and also a 'yellow carnation' which we had taken from a floral arrangement which had been sent from our special friend Cindy, in America... I then picked up Samuel's 'empty' Moses Basket which he had been in since the day he was born, and it broke my heart... The 'emptiness' of his little bed, was just what I was feeling inside ~ 'EMPTY'! We went back out to the car, Samuels casket was with us and we drove to the crematorium for the final part of the Funeral...
The photograph below is of our Samuel resting in his casket... If you would like to see a larger photograph, then please click on the 'Thumbnail'...
When we arrived at the Crematorium a few minutes later, Andrew and I carried Samuel's casket from the car, and to the doors of the Crematorium Chapel... We waited for our Song to begin, and then we heard it... So loud and so clear... 'One More Day' by Diamond Rio. (This song was sent to us by our friend Cindy in America and had such an impact on us, we knew it was just 'perfect' for our Samuels's Funeral Day)... I looked up at Andrew, and just said... 'Oh Cindy'...
As the song played, Andrew and I carried Samuel in his casket to the top of the chapel and laid him down onto the 'catafalque'... My own and Andrews cries were piercing our ears... On the top of Samuel's casket, we had a beautiful posy of 12 'red roses' and also the little Teddy~Bear which held a photograph, in a little velvet 'red box' of Samuel's big brother Angel~Jack... Andrew and I stood by our Samuels side throughout the 'committal', instead of sitting in the aisle with friends & family, whilst Chris said the Prayers... I never once took my hands off of his little casket the whole time... At the ending of the Committal, our song, 'One more Day' played again, as family and friends made their way out of the Crematorium... Just Andrew and I and our Midwives Lisbeth & Julie stayed in the Chapel until everyone had left... Chris said another Prayer just for us, and then we knew it was time for us to leave our Samuel in the care of his 'Guardian Angels'... Andrew took my hand, and with our two very special Midwives, we made our way to the 'gardens' outside where our Samuels flowers were laid... I turned around just once more, to see our sweet angel's casket laying so still... and my heart tore apart...
Outside, family & friends were all gathering at Samuels flowers... Andrew asked me if I wanted to go and see them too, but I couldn't... It was just too much... I could see them all from a short distance away, but I just had no strength left to read the words on the cards from people, and said that we would come back later, when it was quiet, and see them then... I remember looking around at everyone who had attended Samuels Funeral Day, and seeing the sad faces of so many people I loved, tore me apart... When everyone had viewed the flowers and said their goodbyes, I asked Andrew to take me home... I couldn't take any more on this morning... |
