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Above, Mom and Jr. ~ A Treasured Photograph ~
~ Another Angel Gets His Wings ~ Everything in this world happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that. I guess if you were in my shoes, then you would understand why I do not believe in coincidence, or chance happenings. God has purpose for every life, and nothing can change that purpose. We may take ourselves off the right path that we are to travel, but somehow, someway, he always helps us back on that path. Maybe a wrong turn that leads us down a rocky road, but he never gives us more than we can handle. At times, I ask myself how much more can I handle? But then a door opens and I walk through it. Jr. was my oldest brother, one of my best friends, a shelter from the storm, a smile out of nowhere, and my protector until the day that he died. With him being the oldest and me being the youngest and the only girl, you can only imagine how over-protective he was of me at times. I can remember as a teenager how he would drive me crazy at times, when he would come to me and say, 'Shyelisa, this guy is not right for you. You can do so much better than that.' We had our share of arguments over this, but the older that I got, the more that I thanked him for always having my back. He was the best 'Big Brother' that any girl could ask for. On Thursday, Nov. 13, 2003 - I had not been home long from work, a friend stopped by to visit, I was trying to get supper started for my babies, and the phone rang just as someone else was knocking on my door. I looked at my caller ID box, picked up the phone and said, 'Jr. can I call you back in a little while? I have company and someone is knocking on the door.' Being who he is, he replied, 'Oh, I see, put your big brother on the back burner for your friends.' Being who I am, I replied, 'Oh Jr, you know I love you.' He just laughed, and for some reason I couldn't hang up the phone. All things happen for a reason, for at the time, I had no idea that this would be the last conversation that I would have with my brother. We talked for about 20 mins. laughing, joking around with one another, and at the end of our conversation he said, 'Shyelisa, do you know that you are my favorite sister?' I laughed and said, 'Jr. that's only because I am your only sister.' We both laughed, told each other ' I love You' and hung up the phone. That was my last conversation with Jr. Today, I thank God daily for not letting me hang up the phone that night. Everything happens for a reason.
On Friday, Nov. 14, 2003 - I was on my way to drop my youngest daughter off at the daycare, then to work, when I had a flat tire. My first reaction was, 'Oh, this is not going to be a good day.'At this point, not knowing what lied ahead. I tried to call someone to come help me change my tire. Yes, I am one of those women, who has not changed a tire, but would if I could find no help. :) Just as I was about to give up finding help, a man and his son stopped to help me. With my tire changed, I continued on my way to the daycare, dropped off my baby, and started on my way to work. I had forgotten to turn my cell phone on vibrate, which I did each morning to keep me from getting into trouble at work, in case someone called to leave me a message, and thank God I didn't. My phone rang before I reached the interstate and it was my mother asking me where I was, and I could tell that something was wrong with her. I told her and she said, 'Shyelisa, something is wrong with Jr and they can't wake him up.' My first thought was that this had to have something to do with the fact that he had just found out a month before that he was a diabetic. Her next sentence ripped my heart right out my chest. 'Shyelisa, they think that he is dead.' I just started crying and saying, 'Oh mama no!' I asked her where he was and she told me that she had went to pick him up the night before after I had spoken with and took him to stay at a friends' house because his truck had broke down, and his work was in Baton Rouge, and he lived about 45 mins away, so instead of asking his friend to drive all the way out to pick him up that Friday morning for work and then back to Baton Rouge, he had decided to just stay the night at his friends' house.
At that time I was only about 5 mins away from him, so I turned down a side street and started heading that way, telling my mother I was on my way. She hung up, and I called my youngest brother who informed me that he was on his way as well. When I was about a minute away my mother called me back to tell me that Jr's friend had called and asked what hospital did she want them to take him to because the ambulance was there, and she just said the nearest one. At that very moment, an ambulance passed me coming for the direction of where my brother was with his lights on. So I turned about and followed it to the hospital. On my way, I called my job to let them know what was going on and to please send up some prayers for my brother because they thought he was dead. When I arrived at the hospital, I ran into the emergency room and told the lady at the window that I thought that was my brother the ambulance had just brought in and gave her his name. She told me to have a seat while she went to check. A few minutes later she came back to let me know that it was not my brother in the ambulance, and was I sure this was the hospital that he was taken to. I called Jammie to ask him where he was, and he asked where I was. I told him that I was at the hospital and that Jr was not here. He said, 'That's because he is still here Shyelisa.' At that very moment, I can remember the most lonliest feeling that I have ever felt filled my heart, and I said 'Jammie, is he okay?' He told me that I needed to sit down. That was enough answer for me. I sat in the middle of the hospital floor as my youngest brother said, 'No Shyelisa. Our big brother is gone.' 'Oh God No! Not my brother' I screamed. At that point, I couldn't move. I remember a couple of nurses and a doctor running out to see what was wrong, and I just kept telling them that my brother was gone. They helped me up and took me into a small room so that I could have a few minutes of privacy. I stood looking out the window for what seemed like forever, waiting for someone to pinch me and wake me up from this horrible nightmare that I was having, but it never happened. I walked out, got into my car against the doctors wishes that I should call someone to come drive me because I was in no condition to drive, but at that moment all I wanted was to see Jr. I had to see for myself that this was all true. I drove all the way back to Jr's friends' house crying and begging God to please not take my brother. I couldn't live without my brother, I needed him, I begged God.
When I arrived, Jammie was standing at the end driveway talking to a detective, so I pulled over on the side of the road and parked. His face told me that it was all real. He started walking towards me and just took me into his arms. We both just cried and cried. I asked him if he had seen him yet, and he said no. 'Jammie, please let's go see him. I want to see Jr.' He asked me if I thought that I could handle it, and I just told him that I had to see him. He asked the coroner if we could see him, and he told us to give him a few minutes to get some of the people out of the house. I had never seen so many cops in one place at a time. This was due to the fact that Jr was not at his own home, so they must do an investigation of their own. Jammie, put his arm around me, and we walked into that house. As soon as I turned the corner to go down the hallway, there was my brother laying flat on his back in front of the bathroom, fully dressed except for his shoes. He had apparantly been getting dressed for work at the time. I just started screaming, and I can remember Jammie and a detective walking me back outside. 'Oh God, not my brother.' I kept screaming. I will have to tell you that was the very first time that my heart actually hurt. It hurt so bad, the only other time my heart has hurt like that was a year later when I lost my mother. A true heartache, not like when your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/or wife left you. This was a horrible pain in my heart. A void, that to this day has not went away. After a few minutes outside I asked Jammie if Denise was on her way, and if she knew that he gone. He said yes she was on her way, and she knew that he was gone. Denise was Jr's wife and his life. Just as he was her life. Then I thought about Ashley, Holly, and Cody - the three children that he had left behind and how they were going to react to this because he loved his children and they thought the world of him. I then asked Jammie where mama and daddy was, and he said they must be on their way because he had tried to call their house and nobody answered the phone. It didn't dawn on me that I had been there for about 15 minutes already and they only lived 10 minutes away.
A few minutes later my cell phone rang and it was my mother. 'Shyelisa, where are you at? We are the hospital and Jr has not been brought in yet.' It then hit me like a ton of bricks that mama and daddy, like me had went to the hospital thinking that he had been brought in and that everything was going to okay. I told her that I was with Jammie where Jr was. The next question broke my heart into a million pieces, for it was a mother asking that one question she never wants to ask about any of her children. 'Shyelisa, is my baby dead?'. I asked her to let me talk to daddy because I knew that my mother suffered from congested heart failure and I feared that she would not be able to handle this. She screamed, 'SHYELISA, YOU TELL ME. IS MY BABY DEAD?' 'Yes mama, he is gone.' My father's voice came over the phone, and I could hear my mother screaming in the background. I handed the phone to Jammie because I couldn't take it. I could think about how much it was hurting me losing a brother, and couldn't even bare to imagine how much it was hurting my mother to know that she had lost her first born child. The next phone call that I made was to Jr's best friend Robert who had moved to Texas. How do you call your brother's best friend to let him know that he had died? This was hard for me, but I thank God that he was at work and it wasn't him that answered the phone, but instead his wife Teri, whom I told and she called him at work to tell him. Jr. loved Robert very much. They, of course like any other person who has been friends almost their whole lives, had their share of arguments, but Jr really loved Robert. I can remember on Jr's 40th birthday when I had given him a birthday card that Robert and Teri had sent to my house to give to him that day, walking into my bedroom to open it in private and read it. He loved it and came out laughing because it was funny and walked around showing everyone. He was proud of that card. Thank you Robert for putting that smile on his face on his 40th birthday, and for all the many laughs that you gave him. He loved you without a shadow of a doubt. We all love you, and I might add, miss you as well, so you need to move your butt back to Lousiana. :) I will have to say that it was Robert and his brother Johnny, who was also a very close friend of Jr's through the years, who got me through the next few days until Jr's Memorial Service. We chose the perfect songs together, as well as I got to sit back and listen to all of his friends share some of the times that they had with Jr.
Saturday - Nov. 15, 2003 This was the day that the family got to come and say their last goodbyes to Jr because he would be cremated upon his wishes that afternoon. We had also been informed that he had suffered a massive heart attack. This really hurt my mother because she was the one who had the heart problems, and we had no idea that Jr did. When we arrived at the funeral home that morning, I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle going in to see Jr because the night before, everytime I closed my eyes, all I could see was him lying on that floor. Today, I wouldn't change that for the world. Me and Jammie were the only one's who got to see him that day, because when we walked out of that house we asked the coroner if he would please make sure that he was gone before our mother got there. We didn't want her to see him like that. Due to Jr not being at his own home at his time of death and nobody knowing what had happened, he had to have an autopsy, so had been informed that the only part of him that we would be able to see what his face. That was enough for me. One last kiss was all I wanted. Denise and Jr's babies went in first, and the lost, lonely look on their faces when they walked out was heartbreaking. These babies had just lost their father, and didn't understand why. When it was our turn, we walked in behind our mother and father. As soon as my mom seen him, she just started crying and to this day I can still hear her saying, 'Oh my baby, my first born baby. You were not suppose to go before your mama.' She just rubbed his face and told him how much she loved him, and how God had blessed her with the joy of being his mother. It was hard, it was really hard. It was our last and final goodbye to our brother, son, husband, father, and friend. 'Rest In Peace Jr' I told him as I leaned down to kiss him one last time.
Now, let me explain to you why I say all things happen for a reason, and only by God's hands. The night before Jr. died, he called me, and for some reason I didn't hang up that phone, but instead had a wonderful conversation with my brother, where I got to tell him that I loved him. After he got off the phone with me, he called our mother and asked her, instead of me, if she would come pick him up and bring him back here to stay at his friends house. She had already gotten into bed and was reading a book, but I can remember her telling us that for some reason (God) she knew that she was to go pick him up, and she did. She said that once they reached his friends' house they sat in the car and talked for an hour. She told us that he asked her if she had any idea how wonderful of a mother she was, and how much she loved him, and how he wanted to thank her for coming to get him, because she could have told him that she had already gotten ready for bed, but yet she got up, got dressed and picked him up. The morning that he died and my mother got her information mixed up that Jr was taken to the hospital, and me, her and daddy all went to the hospital before stopping off at Jr's friends' first, that was because we were not meant to stop their first. You see, I would have arrived first, and then mom and dad. God didn't intend it that way. Jammie was to get there first, he was stronger than I was. He was my support, and we got to see him together and to make sure that he was gone before our mom got there. So you see, all things happen for a reason, and only by God's will. God knew what he was doing that. He had a plan, and he would let nothing mess it up. A purpose for all things. I was meant to take that last phone call, my mother was meant to have that last car ride and 2 hour conversation with her son, neither of us knowing that he would die the very next morning. Thank you Precious Father for that all you have done for this family.
Today, I have lost a brother and a mother and wake up each morning and ask for God's help to get me through it. It's hard, it really is. I miss Jr and my mom so much that at times the pain is unbearable. Oh, to have one more day with both of them. Do you have any idea what I would give to give my mother one more kiss and a hugg, or to walk up behind Jr where he would be sitting, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss the top of his bald head. :) I am so thankful for every moment that I had with the both of them. God, all the wonderful times that were spent down at Jr's camp. We had some parties! :) During the summer time, if you were looking for your friend, brother, sister, etc and couldn't find them, they were more than likely down at the camp with Jr. :) All the crawfish boils, boat rides, bar-b-ques, and oh man, the roast that him or Robert would cook on the grill that would melt in your mouth. The horseback riding. There was never a dull moment if Jr was around. Again, I thank you Precious Father for all these wonderful memories that I am left with of my mother and brother. ~ They each are priceless ~
Please Click below for some more photos of my Special Brother Jr and his family.
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